Stuck, heavy emotions are a significant source of suffering for many people. One framework for having a more free, easeful, and mindful experience of our feelings is the “R.A.I.N. Method”.
The first part of this plan, “R”, stands for “Recognition”. The paradigm here is that, in order to have a free, spacious, and constructive relationships with an emotion, we first recognize what is actually happening. We notice that we’re having the feeling, and we bring our attention to it. The more that we are conscious of our emotions, the more they will feel familiar and comfortable, and the less that they will unconsciously control and overwhelm us.
The second element, “A”, is allowing. With this practice, we take the breaks off and let ourselves fully feel our emotions, with our body relaxed, our breath full, and our mind spacious. We let the feelings come, we let them be, and then we let them go. We let everything flow through us fully and completely, with minimal friction.
When people react unskillfully to having emotions, they often tighten up their muscles, their breathing gets shallow, their mind contracts, and one could even say that their soul gets tangled up. Things get backed up and stuck, there is an inner friction of oneself fighting oneself, and tension and suffering builds.
But emotions are meant to move through us, more like more flowing water than blocks of ice. With “Allowing”, we let the waves of emotion inform, enliven, empower, and even massage us, rather than compress or dominate us.
“I” stands for “Interest” and “Investigation”. Here, we try to tease apart and individually perceive the different body sensations and thoughts that collectively constitute an emotion. As we deeply experience each of them, we have a high resolution, detail-rich exploration of their nature and attributes, and we get intimate with the precise nature of their arising and falling.
From what I’ve seen online, people define the final letter – “N” – differently. Some people define it as “Non-identification”. The idea here is to take the attitude that we are just a human having a human emotional experience, it’s just an emotional state passing through us, it does not define who we are, there is nothing wrong or unusual with us for having it, and we don’t need to make a whole story about what it means.
Another definition for the final “N” element is “Nurture”. The idea here is that, even as we challenge ourselves to deeply and fully feel difficult emotions, we want to bring an attitude of being friendly, patient, welcoming, accepting, allowing, spacious, open, understanding, and forgiving with them.
When we put into practice the “R.A.I.N Method”, we will ideally find that our emotions are more of a source of intelligent guidance, depth of feeling alive, fulfillment, and enjoyment.